One question I am often asked, after people discover that I homeschool my four children is, ‘how do you hang out with your kids ALL THE TIME and not go mad?’
Well, I’m sure if you ask my husband and my children, there are days when I am a little crazy! And, to be honest, over the years, there have been some pivotal times in my life where I’ve been on the cusp of burn out and things have fallen in a heap. In those moments, I have been tempted to throw in the towel and give up our homeschooling way of life. However, those moments have actually led me to understand myself better and have ultimately brought opportunities for growth, that I’m now deeply thankful for. I want to share some of my habits and rituals that I have come to depend on to sustain me in this way of life. My hope is that they may reduce times of feeling overwhelmed, enduring many meltdowns and ultimately burn out.
Making time to care for yourself is essential for keeping calm and peace in your home and we as adults set the atmosphere for the household (eek!). So then, keeping yourself healthy and in a happy, peaceful place is a high priority. Here are a few ideas:
Have realistic expectations
I am a do-er. I like to make a list, set a plan and get things done. In some seasons of my life - having babies, toddlers or moving house, life is difficult! My plans or ideals are just not possible, and learning to recognise, accept and embrace those seasons have given me the space and freedom to change my expectations. Adjusting to homeschooling - a completely new way of life, is a massive change that requires space and time for everyone to adjust. Reassess your expectations and give yourself time and grace to adjust to this new season.
Exercise
Often at the end of the day I am exhausted, agitated and have low levels of patience. Leaving the house alone for some exercise (moving my body and giving my mind and emotions time to process) transforms me and I return a different person (just ask my husband). Protect time most days to exercise to keep body, mind and soul healthy. The key is to do a little most days and make it part of your rhythm.
Spiritual Practice
For me, I also find a lifeline in quiet reflection and spiritual practice. Whether you’re a person of faith or not, taking a little time to meditate, read the bible, pray, sing, journal, etc, may bring the calm when a storm is raging around you. It can help put life into perspective and restore energy to live each day.
Creativity
I have never thought of myself as a ‘creative type’. Through the seasons of motherhood, learning to express myself creativity was overwhelming as I doubted my skills to produce anything ‘good enough’.
It wasn’t until I began to notice my children fearing taking risks in their own creativity and criticising their own attempts that I realised they were reflecting my own attitude. It was then that I realised I need to really work hard to overcome my underlying fears and beliefs. So, I started nature notebooking with my children and we would observe nature and have a go at sketching it then painting or colouring. Through this process, I’ve learned to really enjoy being creative with my children and even on my own. Making time to create, just for the fun of it, is a beautiful way to grow into and express yourself – to just be you!
Lifelines
When teaching our children safety in Protective Behaviours, we teach them to think of five safe people they can call on when they are feeling uncomfortable or afraid. I think adults need that too! Have some close friends or mentors that you can depend on to unpack, process and vent to when you need it. I’ve found this so lifegiving.
Limit Screentime
Although we are privileged to live in an age of wonderful communication, engaging too much with screens can impact on our mental health. Giving ourselves limits on screen time may be helpful to keep our minds healthy.
Podcasts and reading books
Listening to wisdom and encouragement regularly helps us stay grounded and gives us the energy to continue life through times of challenge. Listening to a podcast or reading a chapter or so each week is a great way to be encouraged and lift your thoughts away from your present situation. Putting on some headphones and listening while cleaning, exercising or enjoying a good read with a cup of tea is a great habit to restore and refresh you. I often listen to a podcast while doing those mundane tasks of cleaning or dishes. I find this both refreshing and restorative.
Hobby
Make time for doing the things you love. Although being home with children can reduce the time you have for yourself, set aside an evening or time on the weekend, to do something that you enjoy, just for yourself, while your children sleep or your partner is looking after them. What are some things you like to do?
Datenight
Change and challenging circumstances can bring great strain in a relationship. Adjusting to schooling at home and perhaps working at home means many families are living closely in each other’s pockets. In difficult times, it has been a lifeline for us to set aside regular time to hang out, chat and connect with one another to help us adjust to a new season of life.
Making time to care for yourself is essential for keeping calm and peace in your home. Keeping yourself healthy and in a happy, peaceful place brings health to the whole household.
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